Pinterest "Nopes"

    Pinterest "NOPE"

     I love a lot about Pinterest. My family has discovered some amazing projects, unique ideas, and some downright yummy dinners & treats. We've made wreaths, salt-dough stuff, whitened our teeth, removed stains from the carpet, & learned to clean our front-load washer. Our home is filled with completed (and incomplete) projects & we have the perfect Christmas song playlist at the ready. Enter the fine line.

   There are some pins that I come across that I'm left shaking my head at how ludicrous the idea or project is. Here are some of the ridiculous "Nope! Not gonna do that silly shit!" stuff that I see on Pinterest.
 

The "Reenactment"

                                       

    So let me get this straight.  Not only do I have to plan and budget a Thanksgiving menu, fight someone to the death in order to score a turkey in Walmart, have the perfect tablescape complete with something burlap and something chevron, and then slave away over my oven, stove, and grill to create the "perfect" Thanksgiving......we now have to dress the part?  I have unfortunately seen more than one example of this, so it's not an isolated event.  I conclude this with a heavy "NOPE".

 

No Knowledge of Science Needed!

....to fill balloons at your next party.

 

 

    Well darlings, get ready to be disappointed and I pray that you aren't banking on this bang-up idea to blow up all 100 pink or blue balloons for that shower or 99 red balloons for your 80's shindig.  While the baking soda and vinegar concoction will blow up the balloon; it does not have the effect of helium.  Meaning?  Don't expect the balloon to float.  Do we not recall combining baking soda and vinegar in our youth?  Often we'd add red food coloring so that whenever it came exploding out of our paper mache volcano, we were sure to snag that 1st place ribbon at the science fair.  The combination of the baking soda and vinegar produces carbon dioxide gas which is heavier than the air outside of the balloon, so not only will it not have a helium effect, it will sink.  So, please oh please, for the love of all that's holy, stop pinning that "No helium needed!" bullbutter and pin it and try it for what it is:  a science experiment that shows the acid/base reaction between the combination of the vinegar and baking soda which will produce some water but mostly carbon dioxide.  So, one last time:  This will not create a helium (if you want the balloons to float) effect and it is more time consuming than blowing the balloons up yourself.  Basically, it's a cool kiddo experiment.  I dub this pin "NOPE".

 

"Customize a plate", They Said. "It'll be fun!", They Said

 

    Okay, I will admit that I had fallen for this one.  Write on a dollar store plate with a sharpie and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes!  So easy!  So wrong!  I have my plates on display.  The 2 mugs that I painstakingly made for my husband and daughter to enjoy cocoa out of on Christmas morning, didn't make it.  This does work.  However (comma pause), it has to be on dishware that has not been glazed, otherwise, expect the first wash (hand-wash or dishwasher) to easily whisk your artwork away.  If you purchase inexpensive plates or mugs that have not been glazed, then this works.  Another thing you can do is that once you create your masterpiece (on a glazed plate or mug), a glaze can be added and THEN you stick it in the oven for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.  So, whenever you re-pin this disaster, at least add on to it to let subsequent pinners know that this only works with the right materials.  I can't really give this one a NOPE but I will give it a NEVER AGAIN.

 

Thanks for the gift.....I think?

  Another thing that I see splashing across Pinterest is the use of toilet paper rolls as gift packaging.  Now, I'll tell you this:  I am an avid recycler and a purveyor of fine up-cycles but this one kind of bothers me.  I'm not so concerned with throwing a trinket or a 20 spot in one of these but I seriously have an issue whenever I see folks gifting candy or small food items in these.  I mean...GROSS!  Nothing says I love you like receiving some goodies packaged in an item that was in someone's bathroom while they rocked more than one deuce.  Never mind the ghost of Taco Bell revenge's past, enjoy your M&Ms! 

"Ah, welcome to our home!  Would you care for a mint infused with dookie fumes?"

 

"Thank you for coming! Please don't forget your treat."  "Oh no, I'm not sure why the M&Ms smell like that..."

 

 

Well folks, that's all I have for right now.  Definitely expect this particular blog to grow.

Aaaaand Continued!

 I'm sure we've all seen the "life hack" on Pinterest where you're boiling some pasta & the water boils out of control to the point that it reminds you of a grade-school volcano. As the water pops & hisses on your range, every little sizzle makes you feel like you've upset some part of the universe. 

 I came across a pin that suggested that a wooden spoon placed over the pot of boiling water will keep the boiling water demon under control. While making some pasta, I decided to attempt this.

Here's my water & pasta. Evidently, the pasta god is starting to get pissed:

Okay! Now I will just add my magic wooden spoon and:

Daaaaaamn Yoooooou Pinterest! Lies! All lies!

Moral of the story: It doesn't work.